On being shunned too often

No calls from IB**, invited to take pre-service at Oxf*** and listen to 4 days of jargon and methodolgy I already know to earn God knows how much. No, it doesn't feel too exciting, especially when other things have also been going wrong.
It's one of those moments I start questioning all of my choices, and, to make matters worse, thinking I've made the wrong choices. What can one feel in those situations? I can only feel like disappearing.